PERFORMANCE ANXIETY

Performance anxiety – fancy name
for some hard and not uncommon
malady. Whether it is out of fear, boredom,
distrust or more, the fear of performance
is a common sexual problem where the
anxiety about engaging in sexual activity
is an overriding block to optimum intercourse.
This psychological problem is a big bug to
the spontaneous flow of sexual feelings as
well as thoughts. The fear of sexual
performance or the fear of not being
bale to perform well sexually can be
attributed in a variety of ways but it
always has got something to do with
libido. This is especially since libido is
something as simple as to be the free
creative, or psychic energy that an
individual has in order to progress
towards the development of sweet
and undiluted aaaaghhhh. Sigmund
Freud actually coined the term libido
and said that is the instinctual energy
that, in his own scientific point of view,
comes simply into conflict with the conventions of civilized behavior. When you have performance anxiety you either have too much or too little of Freud’s “libido”, more so since reduction in libido can be caused by so many factors. Normally, it is the result of psychological factors such as loss of intimacy, stress, distraction and depression. In many cases however, it may also be derived from the presence of environmental stressors such as prolonged exposure to elevated sound levels or bright light.

A man’s libido however, is in a different level as that compared to a woman’s. In a way, in being a man we are often spared from the problems of libido as compared to our fairer partner since we tend to respond to spontaneity and visual stimulation such as pornography. Sometimes, it is already enough for us to just have a willing partner ready to take our most lustful of urges. On the other hand, the fairer sex have to be romanced, and they have to be prepared by talking, intimacy and lots more time spent with us before the sex stuff happens. Furthermore, a man does not seem to be affected by a bad day or fatigue especially when it comes to sex though there are prevalent cases on men having low libido because of certain factors that affect their sex drive. But generally, this should give us more encouragement towards how healthy our libido is and cut out all those notions of performance anxiety. Just by the name that we are created men makes us, more or less, superior in the bed scene - apart from the times when the woman has to got to be on top. Therefore, let not performance anxiety be your excuse to get you to your good times.

However, I do admit that the anxiety that we feel is a big issue and that it can lead to avoidance of sexual encounters, lowered self-esteem, relationship discord and most fearfully, sexual dysfunction. Just an awareness in fact of an existing performance anxiety produces so much preoccupation with the anxiety itself that we become less fully involved in the sexual interaction which only leads to the very failure that is feared. Sometimes, we worry so much on how to be sexually responsive and spontaneous that we focused on each detail of the lovemaking - breathing, a shift in position, how much lubrication or erection - the sexual interaction becomes dissected that enjoyment is really impossible. But I tell you, let this go. Sex is nothing but spontaneous fun, a little preparation here and there but generally what unfolds is something that we should not make the mistake of putting in to a pattern or routine, for then does it defeat its very purpose. Sometimes too, we have so much anticipation of the next sexual encounter that the same anxiety along with the memory of some previous failure only makes the sexual interaction worse.

In order to help you deal with anxiety, let me remind you of what you have rather than what you don’t have. Be proud of your crown jewels and just concentrate in how much pleasure you can give, not only to yourself but to your partner as well. Your penis has got to the greatest work of God and you must definitely take pride in it, no matter its size or color or any else of its attributes. What is important is that you must also learn to be its master by getting more acquainted and intimate with it. There’s nothing wrong in knowing yourself more, and being more comfortable with what you have, especially if this part of yourself will eventually bring you to extend yourself in the form of a child one day.